I want one now!

Those kids at MIT took time out from jerking off to binary code to invent one of the coolest ways to dispense "catsup."

This place is a ZOO!

Saturday was a great day for going to the Bronx Zoo. If you haven't been since you were 5, you'll appreciate it even more. It's the subtle things you see that make the experience even more enhanced. Things from poo-eating monkeys to a dead fetus in a fish tank.

Here's some photos I managed to take before my camera battery crapped out.

We've made it to the big time!!!!

Where were you guys on Thursday? the opening party for the Made in the UK book was great! Lots of kids, lots of vespas, and a lot of free flowing alcohol. Everything British down to the Walker's potato chips (prawn flavoured anyone?)
AND
the gals and I have an alibi:

Xtina was there.
snarkylush was there. (double fisting after a late arrival)
and
I was there.

drink up gals....and rude boys too....

Calling all fashion students!!!

I am so sick of fashion these days. I currently looked through 4 different fashion magazines and realized we are currently living in an era where people are just as clueless about fashion as they are about what a prime minister is.

WTF trends that can't seem to die:

1. Cowboy boots.
I remember when my mom used to travel and Texas was a big stop for her. She used to buy my some of the coolest cowboy boots. I wore them with pride....15 YEARS AGO!!!!! Have you all been sleeping or did you not notice that cowboy boots have become a hipster trend only after their most hated president took a second term? I remember when he first took office, how many people laughed at how he wore those damn boots with his suits. Now we're following his example. What's next? Throwing poor people out of their homes to live in their "underdeveloped" neighborhoods....oh...wait...

2. Ugg boots.
I hope to god this is over. Eskimos can't afford the rising price of their footwear, because some Parsons trust funder decided that the rugged outdoor hunter look is soooo in, and she wants to look like she hunted down a bear and wore his feet home as a souvenir. I'd like to see her survive a day in the tundra with no "Bloomie's" in sight.

3. Gold and Silver Lamay
I remember wincing at pictures of my mom and her friends with gold lamay everything just about a year ago. I didn't realize tack came back with such a vengence!

4. Mandals
Men should NEVER show their feet. They are the nastiest things. keep them inside. No one wants to see your hobbit feet.

Other trends: Gators (and not the Pimp shoe...the gardener's special), tunics, enhanced water (although vitamin water tastes yummy and smart water is awesome after a hangover have you heard of mint water???), overpriced t-shirts, shirts worn as dresses, butt-padding (also white girls who try to act like they have a butt), Punk gone Hip Hop....I could go on.

Give it up people. you lost the irony war because you actually bought into the whole thing, and you're actually enjoying those leggings and super slouchy leg warmers. So, we need someone, ANYONE to come up with something new that doesn't attempt to make the public look like a bigger idiot than they already are.

Where to go this week (or where I most likely will be)

I figure that you guys would like to know what lovely events are worth going to this week...or maybe I just want to see your pretty little faces there.

I def want to go to a cumming party. Besides the TWO OPEN BARS!!!! (10-11 and 1:30-2:30) there are gift bags and it's sponsored by Mile High. You put the two together and it's free pocket rockets for everybody! wooo hoo free shit!

For all the kids into art and DIY there's an awesome photo exhibit at the powerhouse gallery: Made in the UK. I'd go just to see those yummy pics of Levi and Joe S. upclose

For all my hip hop heads...well...study up for your Wendy's exams! Classic training videos trying to reach young america. I love the way corporations think....soooo edgy...

Dub heads can head to the cake shop for $1 Rheingolds and see a free show! here's the flyer. this is the closest to any show I'm probably getting to during CMJ.

Pinkie the thug

Pinkie the thug
Originally uploaded by mapleTits.

I know it's supposed to seem like a complement when a guy sees you walk by and he "holla's" at you. "Hey baby", "Yo ma", "damn!" and "yo can I talk to you for a sec" (that really NEVER turns into a sec) are common phrases you hear walking down the street. In today's world where girls are plagued by eating disorders and personality complexes, it's nice to know when you are attractive.

BUT, and I think I speak for most of the female population, the "gentleman" of this century have no tact. I am SICK of hearing shit as I walk down the street. especially when it's comming from a guy who looks like he's trying on his daddy's basketball jersey.

It's true that it does work to some degree. Usually its some pathetic chic in pounds of clown makeup that will do a 180 on her Payless stilettos and show him her "nursed-way-too-many-kids-by-21" tits. On the other extreme end you see some Meatpacker toothpick that looks for that kind of atttention just to act like she's WAY too good for him, and turns to laugh with her DUF who wishes it was her that got hit on. poor girl.

I've got some serious advice for these boys. Try not to look like you just crawled out of the freakin' gutter....have some class. don't scream at me from your 18 wheeler (and especially don't honk at me from one of those things. I'm not flattered by the ability to scare me out of my skin), follow me to my destination just to talk to me, or mumble incoherently as I walk by. I'm not going to make out with you, and I sure as hell won't give you my number!

And to that traffic cop that chased me down on the way to my house just to get rejected: fix your teeth, then maybe you'll be able to pick up girls at that shady "hotel" on 9th ave and 43rd....just...maybe.

Hooray Beer!

Some of you have been hearing me rave about this awesome outdoor garden at Ms. Williamsburg. It's time you go take a look for yourself. $2 and all the red stripe you can drink while supplies last? What more excuse do you need? How about that we only have a little time before you have to pull out your ugg boots and walk around in yellow and black slush.

Best NYC site to date

I found the most helpful subway map yet. It combines Google maps with the NYC subway map. You type in where you want to go and it tells you what stops are near that location! Now only if I had an ipod photo, I'd be set!

The Hook

Ming + FS were out in bumblefock BK on sunday night, which made for another rock-star night for me and the Chops. Just some pics I took at the show...thanks for the Jäger Ming!

Choppa Style

Limited edition son! Nice work Pheo. where's my pair????

This is why I need to go back....

As usual, I read the morning news every morning, and they have this article that I think sums up the battle between the two coasts for me.

summer peaches

I'm going backwards, I know, but here are a few shots from the Heavy/Absolut Apeach party at the Frying Pan. I wish we got out goodie bags, but stumbling drunk out of there shortly after they ended open bar (as usual), we forgot to pick them up. I wonder if Kid Koala was any good. maybe he could dj my next party....